girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize