I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
