Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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