Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize