I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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