the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
