are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
