I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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