my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
