What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
