Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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