im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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