Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
