In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM