Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
And then he peed in my hair
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