I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos