Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
