she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
