before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
