Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
