who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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