so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
