Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
whose parrot is this?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
