I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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