Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
