He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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