So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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