you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
