What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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