why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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