remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
