I skipped work to stalk him.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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