Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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