I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What a dumb baby whore.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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