Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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