Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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