"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
