i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
