Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

i would punch a child for taco bell

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(706): i would punch a child for taco bell http://tfl.nu/lkky

Replies (41) Good night (5547) Bad night (986)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Why are you ignoring all of my texts?

(1-765): View more from Indiana

The power was out.

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(765): Why are you ignoring all of my texts? (1-765): The power was out. http://tfl.nu/9x7x

Replies (17) Good night (1244) Bad night (4148)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.

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(905): I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room. http://tfl.nu/wji4

Replies (12) Good night (653) Bad night (4739)
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(847): View more from Illinois

woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.

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(847): woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score. http://tfl.nu/p406

Replies (26) Good night (9225) Bad night (772)
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(972): View more from Texas

Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...

(214): View more from Texas

Was she wearing cherry chapstick??

(972): View more from Texas

No. Life's not always a fairytale.....

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(972): Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan... (214): Was she wearing cherry chapstick?? (972): No. Life's not always a fairytale..... http://tfl.nu/2nel

Replies (24) Good night (6630) Bad night (859)
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(432): View more from Texas

He looks like he has a penis

(210): View more from Texas

What the fuck

(432): View more from Texas

A good one, a good penis

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(432): He looks like he has a penis (210): What the fuck (432): A good one, a good penis http://tfl.nu/0vhk

Replies (8) Good night (4134) Bad night (920)
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(360): View more from Washington

I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too

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(360): I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too http://tfl.nu/ui5h

Replies (6) Good night (3290) Bad night (1175)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.

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(410): I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb. http://tfl.nu/3y7t

Replies (3) Good night (1708) Bad night (663)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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(603): I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin. http://tfl.nu/m6dy

Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (351)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.

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(720): I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help. http://tfl.nu/0nf6

Replies (5) Good night (433) Bad night (1064)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.

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(+61): I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in. http://tfl.nu/ilgv

Replies (9) Good night (3027) Bad night (569)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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(541): Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity. http://tfl.nu/lznq

Replies (2) Good night (654) Bad night (527)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.

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(832): I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too. http://tfl.nu/amfi

Replies (7) Good night (936) Bad night (298)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is

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(810): Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is http://tfl.nu/6mxi

Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (543)
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(305): View more from Florida

Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)

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(305): Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables) http://tfl.nu/t7ni

Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (303)

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