ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.