I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....