Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  My sheets look like a crime scene.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): My sheets look like a crime scene. http://tfl.nu/7f9h
  Replies (9) Good night (764) Bad night (958)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (487) Good night (174764) Bad night (7223)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR. http://tfl.nu/1otj
  Replies (40) Good night (4091) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food http://tfl.nu/f7o2
  Replies (121) Good night (7545) Bad night (1601)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

  (1-631): View more from New York

  that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her http://tfl.nu/x28l
  Replies (28) Good night (1142) Bad night (6013)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse. http://tfl.nu/4gmt
  Replies (35) Good night (10086) Bad night (3128)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?" http://tfl.nu/fnwu
  Replies (11) Good night (7967) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count. http://tfl.nu/d5s2
  Replies (14) Good night (5020) Bad night (1451)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila? http://tfl.nu/i07w
  Replies (7) Good night (1764) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me http://tfl.nu/ot16
  Replies (4) Good night (2018) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor." http://tfl.nu/jk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (3197) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable http://tfl.nu/50aw
  Replies (7) Good night (1063) Bad night (2437)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box http://tfl.nu/9koo
  Replies (8) Good night (914) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): He said it. He actually said "yes it's in". http://tfl.nu/w699
  Replies (7) Good night (560) Bad night (2090)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I rest my case.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO. (1-720): Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving. (720): I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW. (720): I rest my case. http://tfl.nu/ktzi
  Replies (10) Good night (2040) Bad night (436)

Randomize