Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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