Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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