yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
