Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
