Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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