NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
