I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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