I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
