so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
