names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
