How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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