Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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