Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
