I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
