how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
