Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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