Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
