My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
