They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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