she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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