i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
