Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
