Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize