Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
